Originally published 2021/07/11
Hi, I’m Whitney and I’m an instructional design Imposter. I’m a "The Natural Genius" and most often, that nagging voice inside my head says, “you're clearly not cut out for this, you should just give up.” Then tell use what you do to battle that feeling.
I've had high hopes for myself when I entered undergrad. My dreams were quickly dashed when I struggled to maintain the same GPA I had in high school. I ended up convincing myself I was a failure and, you guessed it, an IMPOSTER, and fell back on a career path that I had been on since I was 5, an artist. Can't really fail in a field that's totally subjective, right?
The statement "When you’re faced with a setback, does your confidence tumble because not performing well provokes a feeling of shame?" really resonates with me. After college, I was convinced I was a failure so much so that I took a whole year off work/school/etc. to rebuild my confidence. I was too scared to do anything I could fail at again. "Do you often avoid challenges because it’s so uncomfortable to try something you’re not great at?" Yes. Big yes.
Since undergrad, luckily I have learned that not succeeding on the first try, trying and trying again, sticking with it until I get it right...those are all forms of success. Getting my a** handed to me during college really made me face the music. I had never learned to be a learner. I had never known how to teach myself new things. When I was used to things coming naturally, any challenge sent me spinning and I took it as a sign I should give up. But I knew I could do better. It took well into my 20s, but I finally put my pride aside, admitted that I was not a superstar at everything, and got better at asking for help. I still frequently like to try things on my own at first, just as a little test, but I also can recognize those around me as a resource.
I learned that support system is key! I used to work for a manager who made me TERRIFIED to make mistakes. This did not help my perfectionist superstar nature. Back then, I had debilitating imposter syndrome, but was too scared to ask for help. And then I would be chastised for not asking for help and reaching out more. It was a vicious cycle. Luckily, I moved on from that position and found a new manger who championed constant learning and inquiring, and was thrilled when I asked questions or admitted that I didn't know something thoroughly. They offered me a safe space to admit to my shortcomings without making me feel as though I should know better, and at the same time offered me honest compliments and feedback that helped grow my confidence. I will never again underestimate the importance of a manager.
My other piece of advice is to try so many new things that you become numb to the fear of failure. Seriously. Try anything and everything. Things you never thought to do or even wanted to do. Some things you will be good at and will raise your confidence. A lot more though, you won't be so good at, and it's in those moments you grow as a learner and a student.